It would be easy, to stop looking in facebook if it wasn’t for all the business contacts and clients i have to keep up with. But truth is I would lose track, and business if I did. And so once again even after deleting and blocking you as to make my life easier by not knowing anything about you and missing you- i still get sent videos of you… By people caught in between, clients and fans of the both of us, people who will never know what we had- cause for people to know would have ruined both of our careers.
And i watch it and at first I smile, I’m happy to see you’re doing well. I love you so much i don’t know what I would do if you weren’t. I wish nothing but happiness for you.
But then in the background i see balloons, and a lot of friends and I remember it all happened a year ago. Today is her birthday. Its her first birthday.
And i get taken back to when u fessed up, how my heart broke. How much I wanted to be the one to give you that. How even when u apologized and promised so much i couldn’t forgive you.
A year later it makes me just as sad. A year later I’m not sure i have forgiven you.